Scarred Emotions
by MoonAngel010
Summary: Serena and King Darien marry, and live happily ever after, right? Wrong, I mean yea they love each other but lately Neo-Queen Serenity and King Darien have been getting into a lot of fights, and later on Darien does something in anger that makes Serena do


1 Scarred Emotions  
  
2 By, MoonAngel010  
  
3 Mailto:Vave@Juno.com  
  
Rated: R  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sailor Moon, but I predict I will! (HA! HA! That's funny isn't it?)  
  
  
  
4 SERENA'S P.O.V  
  
  
  
It's not fair, not fair at all. Its not fair how he plays with my heart then breaks it. Its not fair how he holds me one minute but then the next, he refusing to. Marriage isn't supposed to be like this, we are supposed to get along, we're supposed to make endless love and show the love we have for each other.  
  
I turn to my side and see my companion beside me. It was another night where we had argued and went to bed without a word. Darien had made me cry. He never did that before. Little by little our arguments became more dramatic. We argued in private, making sure not to start any commotion among crystal Tokyo.  
  
Even when we didn't argue I cried. Every time we argued I received horrible headaches. If the heartache didn't depress me it was the headaches. I loved Darien with all my heart and soul and he loved me, we fought maybe 3 times a week but afterward we would ALWAYS make up.  
  
Slowly my eyes drift close and my mind drifts to dream land.  
  
  
  
5 DARIEN'S P.O.V  
  
I rolled over. I feel the sun warm upon my face, slowly waking me up. I look over to the woman beside me. Her golden hair on the pillow around her, her beautiful blue eyes closed while her mind is in the other realm of dreams. I feel a smile tug at my lips as I just stare at her. The curiosity of her awakening overwhelms me. Suddenly I remember the night before, where we had argued once again. I had made her cry, and it hurt me deep inside just to see her in that matter.  
  
What were we arguing about? I can't even remember that, but I can remember her tears, her sobs. I disgust myself. I remember now, we were arguing about responsibility, she wanted me to call off all our meetings so we could spend the night together. But I couldn't even do that, I yelled at her explaining the responsibility of being a king and queen. I didn't mean to yell at her. It was just earlier that day I got in an argument with somebody else and I guess I let go of all my anger on her. I remember her face and how hurt she was.  
  
I watch her intently, wondering how we would act today, if another argument would take place, but I don't want that to happen. I lean in toward her face, my breath coming in gasps. I love the way she makes me feel, ecstatic, alive, kind, and caring.  
  
My lips come to hers and I watch her wake up. She looks up to me, startled by our kiss. My angel, I hope she forgives me. As I pull my lips away she smiles at me, I love her smile; I don't know what'd I do without it.  
  
"What are you doing?" She mutters to me.  
  
"I'm sorry about last night." I tell her referring to our argument of course. She frowns and looks away from me.  
  
"Serena, I'm so sorry, I NEVER meant to make you cry." I wait for her answer but all I see or get is the back of her head. She sits up and pulls on her robe. I really did hurt her.  
  
I follow her and step in front of her. "Please Serena…" She turns to the floor, away from my eyes.  
  
"Darien, you hurt me." She says to me.  
  
I pull her into a hug and kiss her head.  
  
"Never in a million years would I have thought, that I would be the one to make you cry." She looks up to me with tearful eyes.  
  
"Neither did I." She replies. I hold her arm and caress her soft cheek.  
  
I pull her into a searing kiss; afterwards she looks to me.  
  
"Forgive me." I plead her; all I want is her love.  
  
"I was under a lot of stress, I never meant to take it out on you."  
  
She glares at me with her blue eyes that I always find comfort in and she jumps into my arms. I hold her close and we head outside of room together.  
  
  
  
6 SERENA'S P.O.V  
  
My eyes are tightly closed and my grip is hard on top of the counter top of the kitchen. I feel my breath come in short gasps and my chest heaves up and down in response. The world around me falls and tilts beneath my weight. I feel like I'm going to fall backward, when I open my eyes its worse. I cling tighter the counter top, as if it were a life or death situation. Dear god help me, it's another headache. It's worse this time, and all I want to do is break down and cry. The dizziness is incredibly painful.  
  
I gasp in surprise as I hear someone come in behind me. I loosen my grip on the countertop and open my eyes, as if nothing happened. I look in front of me and grasp a cup in my hand. I focus all my attention on the sink in front of me. I see two of them, blurring in my vision.  
  
"Serena?" I turn gasp in another surprise. It was Darien, my dear Darien.  
  
"Are you ok?" He asks me. Am I ok? I wish I were.  
  
"Yea." I reply in a weak smile, anybody could see through that fake smile.  
  
"No you're not." He observes my face and takes a step closer to me, his eyes hold worry and concern. I pray he figures it out, because I'm not going to tell him. I need to be a strong queen, not a weak one.  
  
"I'm fine Darien!" I rasp another dizzy spell overcoming me. He looks at me in surprise. I know another argument is on its way.  
  
"I know something's wrong, and if you can't tell me that's your problem! It's not like you tell me anything anymore!" He looked at me with a frown and I watched his cape disappear outside the door along with him.  
  
My knees buckle and I almost fall, the sink top sustained my balance. I wish I could tell him about my headaches, about my dizziness, about it all. But I can't, I need to figure out what's causing it first. I cry silent tears as the throbbing pain continued throughout my mind.  
  
  
  
7 DARIEN'S P.O.V  
  
The nerve of her to lie to me, it obvious something was wrong. Her face was extremely pale, her eyes, a dim blue, and sweat perspired from her forehead. She worries me, despite the fact that she tries to hide her problem. I sit on my throne worry in my mind. Something's definitely wrong, she's sick. I know it. I snap my head upward the entrance of the room. I watch in horror as Serena stumbles inside. I stand up and rush to her. "SERENA!" She looks up to me with teary eyes.  
  
I pause in surprise as she straightens at my presence. I run closer to her and she looks up at me.  
  
"You're sick?" I wonder looking into her face.  
  
"NO." She replied blankly. Another lie, lies where it would soon cause an argument.  
  
"Liar." I saw the hurt in her eyes once more. I slap myself mentally, realizing the mistake I had made.  
  
"How dare you." She replied a single tear sliding down her cheek.  
  
She swallows hard and blinks with alertness. She sways in position but stays put. "I hate you!" She swallows and flinches. I hurt her, but she has broken my heart in ways never imagined with her words.  
  
"Wait, I didn't mean that." I watch her difficulty as she tries to speak. She's in pain, yet so am I. "Dinner should be ready in 5 minutes." I watch her pale face as I leave the room.  
  
Why did she say she hated me? I didn't do anything to hurt her, except make her cry and ignore her emotions. That's almost a bad. But still, nothing I did could have compared to saying she hated me! I never said anything like that, except when we were young and thought we hated each other. But that's different, we're married, and king and queen, we're in love! At least, that's what I thought.  
  
I watch her enter the dining room a plate of salad in her hands. She looks so ill, and pale. She worries me with her secrecy. A shattering sound interrupted my thoughts. I watch Serena kneel to the floor and pick up the lettuce and shattered pieces from the plate she had dropped. Before I knew it I was yelling.  
  
"SERENA! Being queen involves posture, and you clearly don't have that!" I watch her face closely, trying to control my words.  
  
"You are so clumsy!"  
  
She turns away from me, trying to hide her tears, and silently continues to pick up the mess she has made.  
  
"Look at you… crying like a baby. Some queen…" She looks to me and tries to hold her tears, and wails.  
  
At last when the mess was cleaned she skipped dinner. My mind ran wild and I figured out I was the most cruelest husband, yet I didn't know why. It was obvious why she said she hated me.  
  
8  
  
9 SERENA'S P.O.V  
  
What did I do that was so wrong? I did nothing that a normal human being wouldn't do. But that was it, I'm not normal, I am Neo-Queen Serenity. I gulp down the lump in my throat as I slowly walk up the stairs of the castle to my room.  
  
I gripped tightly the railing as dizziness overcame me again. I can make it up the stairs; I have to be strong, not weak. In the distance I saw the blurred vision of the door to my room. I need to tell somebody on my sickness. It could be deadly. I smile as I feel the cold feeling of the doorknob under the grip of my hand.  
  
10 DARIEN'S P.O.V  
  
I meant to go to her to apologize, not start another fight. I headed up to her in a hurry. In my heart the pain I had caused was not unrecognized, I was aching as much as Serena. My angel…  
  
She lies on the bed in front of me, her back to the door. I slowly enter and she notices my presence. Her puffy eyes and red nose make me feel like the most hated man alive. She stands up, and almost stumbles backward. "I'm sorry Serena, really." She looks at me, almost in disbelief. "I hate you Darien, you made me feel worthless."  
  
I look at her with sadness. "Something's wrong with me." I told her. She nods "Something's wrong with you Darien alright, you don't know how to love." She breaks my heart more, but I truly deserve it. The anger builds inside me as she speaks. She talks of anger and hurt and depriving her.  
  
Suddenly my world mutes as she touches her forehead and groans with… pain. I bring my hand up to her, trying to stable her but she thrusts my hand away. "Don't touch me!" She yelps. Suddenly she falls forward into my arms. "Darien…" I do something never imagined.  
  
  
  
  
  
11 SERENA'S P.O.V  
  
He didn't hold me in my time of need he let me go. He let me fall. I look up to him wailing with tears. "Why?" I ask repeatedly. He looks to me and I could see that he was hurt to. Maybe I deserved it, why did I say I hated him? I don't hate him; I love him with all my heart. He winced as I sobbed louder. I called his name but his response was walking away. I watched his back as he disappeared from the room. From the corner of my eye I saw a servant rush to my aid. Jeremy helped me up. "Are you ok Queen Serenity?" I nod and wipe my tears, continuing to look at Darien's way.  
  
I could feel the thick sour liquid rise in my throat. I struggle from Jeremy's grip and rush to the bathroom. I let go my vomit and cried hard. I knew what was wrong, and it pained me to think of Darien's response.  
  
  
  
  
  
No one knew or knows, not even I, until recently. I refuse to tell a soul about the gift within me, or the symbol of so-called love growing inside me. No one knows, they think I'm sick, or depressed, anything but pregnant. I stand on the balcony, my hand caressing my stomach. I don't want it. Any of it, I don't want the reign as a Queen, I don't want to be married with pain, and I refuse to have a child of someone that despises my presence. I don't want it!  
  
Tears burn the corner of my eyes, as I consider the options. The child I hold, isn't mine, it will never be mine. I wanted a child as a symbol of undying love, but Darien will never make that happen. I realized that my headaches are part of the pregnancy. It is the only logical reason I have. I don't know what to do. Darien didn't sleep with me that night, he slept in another room, and perhaps it was for the best.  
  
12 DARIEN'S P.O.V  
  
I hate myself I hate my actions. Why did I do such a thing? Especially to the one I love? Her memory is burnt in my mind. I look around me to total darkness. I haven't slept by myself since a year after I came back from my year at Harvard. It's awkward now, no one beside me, and no one to hold or kiss.  
  
But it's my problem, I wanted to sleep in here, I couldn't face her. I turn to my side expecting to find Serena beside me. My eyes close as my thoughts continue to play at her. "My baby…" I mutter  
  
Self-consciously.  
  
  
  
13 SERENA'S P.O.V  
  
My mind is made up; I keep the child but let Darien figure it out himself. It's a stupid idiotic idea, but it is my only choice. It won't be long until he figures it out, the bulge in my stomach won't be much of a secret in a couple of days.  
  
I starve myself eating my normal meal, it isn't enough, I have to eat more, but I can't it would let on too much information. Darien and I made up, yet I still anger and fear him, what if he yells at me again?  
  
He tried to make a move on me, so we could have, sex… I gave it a shot, but it hurt, it's not the same.  
  
I look around me to find silence in the rose garden. I feel dizzy again and a headache is in my mind, my stomach turns and tightens as my child kicks me.  
  
I'm so hungry… The world around me blurs and like a blown out candle, I blank out.  
  
  
  
14 DARIEN'S P.O.V  
  
I look at the women in my arms, my wife, and unconscious. I watched her fall and caught her as quickly as possible. "Is she well your majesty?" A servant asks me as I enter the castle. I ignore him.  
  
"Darien?" I turn around to look at the scouts. "What are you doing here?" I ask. They are supposed to be on a vacation, on earth, but here they are. I feel myself tremble in fear, was it my fault Serena fainted?  
  
"SERENA!" Amy rushes to my wife and feels her forehead she looks so pale.  
  
"She's cold!" Amy observes. The girls follow behind me as I head my room, placing her on the bed. It's my fault, I should have made her tell me how she was feeling, but then she would have refused and we would be continuously angry at each other.  
  
"What happened?" Lita asked me as I placed a rag over Serena's forehead. "I don't know." I mumble. This would be so much easier if they weren't here, interrogating me.  
  
"We've been getting into a lot of fights lately." I tell them, sooner or later they'll find out. I can feel there burning glares. "What?"  
  
I nod and watch my baby's face in disparity.  
  
"But… you guys are the best couple I know." Mina mumbled. I ignore her comment we WERE the best couple.  
  
Tears burn the corner of my eyes. What have I done, she could be dying and our relationship isn't the best at the moment. I hold Serena's hand and hold it tighter. "I love you." I mumble into her ear, kneeling by her bedside. Amy pats my back and she tells the girls to leave us lone. When they all disappeared behind the closed door of the room, I let my tears flow.  
  
"I'm so sorry Serena, I've treated you horribly and I'd die just to take it back, what ever is wrong with you, we can fight it."  
  
My eyes blink with alertness, as I feel her moan.  
  
  
  
  
  
15 SERENA'S P.O.V  
  
Oh my head, it hurts so bad my eyes are so heavy and I feel my stomach pains worse then ever. I feel like I've been asleep for years and years.  
  
My eyes slit open to find Darien beside me reading a book. "Darien?" My throat feels rasp, and dry. I swallow numerous times. "SERENA…" Darien sits up from beside me and pulls me into a hug. "I'm so sorry sweetie, never again, never again…" He tells me, I feel his tears on top of me. Oh my stomach, the pain it hurts so badly. The secrecy, the hiding it all, its unbearable. "Darien, I'm ready to tell you." He releases me and helps me sit up. I don't care anymore, I have to tell him, it's only fair, and the child inside me is his too, and not just mine.  
  
I can see the shock in his ocean blue eyes, but I can't tell if they hold anger or happiness. "Say something." I plead my tears ready to come. "I don't know what to say." Uncontrollably I let go of my tears and sob loudly. "NO! No! Serena, I'm happy, I'm just speechless!" My tears slow down. "Really?" "Yes, its amazing to have you pregnant with our child." I smile and pull him into a hug. Our new life together was going to be great, I realized.  
  
The girls gasped when I told them and were ecstatic about it all. They cheered and cried and congratulated Darien and me.  
  
My eyes shoot open with shock, I groan, not in pain but in surprise. I'm so tired; I barely recognize the kicking in my lower stomach. My eyes drift close when suddenly the pain starts, stops, and then retreats again. The pain is so controlling I cry. I sit up, and look around me; I look to my side, seeing the faint glow of Darien's skin. I gasp quickly as I feel the water soaking the bed all around me. I don't want to wake him; he looks so peaceful, sleeping, but I know it was time, time to have our first longed for child. I wince as the stomach pain starts again; I bite my lower lip, biting back my cries of pain.  
  
Eventually, I give in. I shake Darien feverishly, forcing him to wake. He moans a 'stop' and flips to his side. "Darien," I cry, "The baby, I'm having it!" He doesn't respond "Darien!" I scream as loud as I could. He sits up instantly in shock. "WHAT!" It didn't take long before he realized it.  
  
It's weird I always thought the pregnant girl goes crazy when she gives birth, but when it comes to the husband, you will never see such an amusing site somewhere else.  
  
  
  
16 DARIEN'S P.O.V  
  
My mind seems to run wild as I run insanely about the room, thrusting clothes into a bag, Serena's cries of pain doesn't help. I would think I'm prepared for this, I WAS trained as a doctor for 6 years, you would think that would help! When all was ready I hurry Serena downstairs.  
  
  
  
I look in front of me and see my angel. Her legs propped up against her chest, her bangs sweated to her face, and her cries of pain echoing throughout the room. Sweat penetrated from her body and her eyes, held determination and joy for what was to come. Despite her tiredness, she wouldn't give up. I hold her hand, telling her she was going to be all right.  
  
17 SERENA'S P.O.V  
  
I never thought it would be so painful, never in my life. I feel my child come closer to its entrance to the world, but the pain could stop that from happening. My attempts barely worked, but worked well enough. Oh, and my Darien, beside me, calming me down holding me, and assuring good luck. My face wrinkles under the pressure I give and I couldn't help but to clench my teeth. I gasped for more strength, and I felt ready to pass out. Alas the push came, the push where my child would enter the world, and soon enough a babies wail filled the room. I threw my head back onto my pillow and lessened my grip on Darien's hand. I laughed, in joy, in happiness, and the fact that my baby was crying for no reason at all, yes; she was my child, for sure.  
  
18 DARIEN'S P.O.V  
  
I almost cried in happiness when I saw my child for the first time, I watched the doctor take Rini away and do the procedure, I cut the long string that united mother and daughter together for nine months. I watched Serena pant for air, tired as she could ever be; I watched her smile the biggest smile she ever gave. "I love you." I whispered into her ear. She couldn't speak, but yet she had reasons not to. I leaned forward and we kissed passionately, the world around us fell ecstatic and we congratulated each other.  
  
A nurse walked up to me with a smile, she handed me my crying baby wrapped in a pink blanket. Almost instantly, when she was in my arms, her tears stopped.  
  
"What will you call her?" Asked the nurse, I glanced to Serena.  
  
"Serenity Chiba." We both said in unison. We laughed and I smiled at Rini. My new child.  
  
  
  
19 SERENA'S P.O.V  
  
My child, Rini, my baby, could I be any happier? I look around my new nursery and the child sleeping soundly in the crib. It had been a long day, we had announced her throne as princess, and all our friends had held her.  
  
I lean forward and kiss her delicate forehead. Rini, Darien and my Rini. I stood there looking at her blankly savoring her appearance. I jumped in surprise as Darien's hand came about my waist. I smiled, realizing all was perfect. He kissed my cheek, and leaned his head against mine. "You think this will last long?" I ask hopingly.  
  
"What?" He replied in a complete whisper.  
  
"This, the happiness we have, and the undying love we share."  
  
I heard him laugh and he held me tighter.  
  
"Forever Serena, forever… and beyond."  
  
**************THE END*************** 


End file.
